Starting a family after 30


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2. Have Patience As You Try to Get Pregnant

I have another friend who had her first baby at 38 and is planning on trying for at least one more, and two friends over 40 who are trying.


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If you want to start at 30, and you don't have trouble conceiving, you could have your second at 32 and your third at Or your second at 33 and your third at All of those are completely normal childbearing ages. I don't think this is really anything to worry about, in the scheme of things. I would honestly worry more about the impact of 3 kids on finances and careers! A lot of people have children late into their 30s. Like, A LOT. My own sister was born when my mom was 41, and it's even more common now. I don't know where you live, but if someone in my circle worried that she was too old at 30 to start having kids, everyone would think she had lost it.

It's not uncommon - sure, it's biologically more ideal to have kids at like 19, but thats not always LIFE ideal and you are totally going to be fine. Get checked to make sure you're in good health and good luck. For what it's worth, you may feel younger at 50 when you get there than you are currently anticipating. My mother had her first child at 25, and her sixth at I can't speak perfectly for her but the youngest is now 17 and they seem to have coped with all of us pretty fine.

Both parents are now in their late fifties and are still perfectly healthy and active enough to handle having a teenager, even brought him to visit me and some other relatives in the USA last year. I think you can afford to relax a little - especially because you won't be 'starting with three children', you'll start with one.

You will always have the option of not having a third child if you are overwhelmed with two. I think it would help a lot for you to discuss these questions and concerns with an obstetrician maybe even more than one if that would help you feel comfortable. There's no harm in doing that now, even if you don't plan to start trying for a while yet. I had my first at 39 and my second at I had no problems conceiving and no issues, thankfully, with chromosomal issues due to my Advanced Maternal Age.

That is an Official Medical Term. You have plenty of time, unless you are aware of any reason why you might have a hard time conceiving. I will say that having toddlers, more than one, in one's forties is kicking my ass around the block. If I could go back in time and meet my husband earlier so that we could have done this in our thirties, that would have been better. My mom started at 35 in the 's so, yeah, I don't see the problem here.

When Is the Best Age to Have a Baby?

At least get started. My parents had me at 29 and my sister at You're not yet old. Make some babies, be awesome. You'll only be 55 when the first one is 26, that's hot a bad gap of age. My mother was 35 when I was born, my father was in his 40s. This seems to have worked out alright, in terms of health and biology. I wouldn't worry too much. We had one at 40 - it's been lovely. Go for it, you'll be fine. I know many people who started having children in their late 30s or early 40s. Both my sisters have two children, and started a family much later than you are proposing. It's not a problem unless you know some specific reason why you'd be different than most people.

People in their later 40s and early 50s might be slowing down a little but it's hardly old age. More anecdata - my parents had eight kids, and five of them were between 30 and All fine, all healthy, all happy.

Go talk to your OBGyn. And do some research about the cost of children before setting your self on 3. Find out childcare options in your area. This seems to be a shock to many.

There's a big difference between having kids at 30 and 35

But really, your previous question makes me wonder if those issues have gotten sorted out. As a mom, I'd recommend making sure that all parents are fully contributing to the household and are within a commuting distance that allows for full engagement as a parent and partner. I had my first kid at 31 and my second at It's been great. I did have four miscarriages, but they were due to hypothyroidism. Of all the people I know who have had children, I know two who have conceived children with trisomies -- one was 39 and one was You can never be sure that things will be fine, not ever.

It's worth it anyway. You clearly want to have a kid: have a kid. My mom had me when she was I am plenty fine.

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Your kids probably will be too. Also in my thirties, and there's been a baby explosion among friends in just the last year. Seriously, so many. And some are already having another within just two years. My mom also had me at 35 in the 70s. But this all depends on your own body, husband's body, genetics, health and just luck, honestly. We could share stories all day but you should talk to your doctor. My husband and I always said that we would start trying when I turned 32, because we deemed that "still young" and indeed we were the first of our peer group to start trying.

We then delayed starting trying two months so I could "enjoy myself" at friends' wedding and I gave birth 3 days after my 33rd birthday, all well. Have a baby.


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You would have been considered YOUNG to be thinking about babies in my circle of friends when we were your age. I had my daughter at 32 and was the first of us. My two closest friends had their first babies at 43 and 38, respectively. The second one is having her second now, at And two other friends have had babies in the past month, one at 42, the other at We're not average, statistically speaking; we're all urban-dwelling, university educated, multiple degree holding except me, underachiever women with big careers.

Without exception, we had our kids when we did because there were no fathers in the picture until there were. And two of us haven't had kids, one isn't trying to, but one has been trying for several years. All of which is to say, it's totally possible, and not even uncommon, to have babies in your thirties and forties. It's really only past 35 that people start calling you a Mother of Advanced Age.

Now, Later, or Never?

Your fertility does start to decrease past 30, and then more sharply after 35, but that leaves you seven good reproducing years in there, more than enough time to have three kids. And since you've already got the father, a house and a job, you really don't have to worry. I would be less worried about being physically "too old" in your 30s is definitely not too old, as pretty much everyone is saying and more focused on thinking about how your marriage will adapt to these hypothetical children.

You say you're fairly established in your career - will you continue to work? Do you plan to go part-time or work from home or quit altogether? What about your husband - is he going to scale back his career to do more child management and housework? What are your plans for childcare? If you plan to continue your career, how much of the responsibility will you realistically be taking on for children and housework vs.

Do you have a good support network - close friends and family nearby?

How do you and your husband get along - what are the areas of stress in your relationship so far? How do you divide the work of your household already? It's hard to convey when you haven't been through it yet, but having children is often a big shift in your relationship. From my thinking, 1 child can be juggled with a career and a household. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I find this is often something people don't explore very deeply before they plunge in.

1. Personal journey

And the stress of trying to "do it all" as a mother can really strain a marriage. I'm 29 now, and nobody from my immediate circle of friends has kids yet. And only one has plans of doing so in the near future.

Starting a family after 30 Starting a family after 30
Starting a family after 30 Starting a family after 30
Starting a family after 30 Starting a family after 30
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Starting a family after 30 Starting a family after 30
Starting a family after 30 Starting a family after 30
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